The Best Tips For Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Writing your own wedding vows is one of those things that seems like a great idea at the time, but can turn out to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done.

It should be so easy, you love this person, you are committing to them, so the words should just come together. But when you’re sitting in front of a blank page a few days ahead of the ceremony, the enormity of the occasion can hit you like a tonne of bricks, and suddenly everything you write seems too corny, (or not corny enough!). It can be hard to create vows which contain those meaningful words that encapsulate everything you truly want to say and includes those all-important tear-jerking sentiments .

The trick to writing your own vows is to relax and just take it one step at a time…The Select Bride is here to help!

Couple saying vows at wedding
Wedding photographer Allister Freeman, UK


1. Forget about the congregation

Remember, your wedding is not a performance! It is a ceremony of commitment between you and your partner, so forget about all the other people who will be there to witness your vows. Just imagine there is no one else but the two of you and write down everything you want to say in that moment.

2. Remember why you’re getting married

Whether you were the one being proposed to, or the one doing the proposing, you will remember that one magical moment when you knew you wanted to make a lifelong commitment to this person. Think about what marriage means to you – the chance to build a home together, the recognition of your love, the bringing together of two families – and make that the defining sentiment of your vows.

3. Look to the classics

There is a reason why the traditional wedding vows have remained (more or less) constant over the centuries, they cover all the bases!

4. Keep it short

This is the time for brevity, there will be plenty of time for speeches at the reception. Your vows should be no more than half a page long, and ideally they will be short enough for you to memorise.

5. Cover the key points

If in doubt, talk about the past (what your relationship has meant to you), present (what it means to be getting married), and future (your hopes and dreams for your relationship). Don’t forget to tell your partner you love them (it’s easily done!) and to repeat your intent to commit to them for the rest of your life.

6. Add in some humour

Your wedding vows are not a stand-up routine, but there’s no reason why you can’t include an in-joke or two. Write a line about something that is unique to you, as a couple a funny memory or a shared obsession and you will add a sweet level of intimacy and originality to your vows.

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