Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in planning for the wedding day itself and we can give little thought to the future and ensuring that married life itself goes as smoothly as possible. When the confetti has settled we need to work at living in wedded bliss, so take a look at our top 10 simple tricks for a long and happy marriage…
1. Appreciate One Another
There is always something that our partner does for us on a daily basis that we can show our appreciation for, whether that be fresh towels in the bathroom, that morning cup of tea, or simply a hug when we are feeling blue. Make sure you voice your appreciation every day, don’t assume it’s obvious. Show that these things don’t go unnoticed and you’ll both be happier for it.
2. Be Kind
Sadly many people speak to their partners in a way that they would never dream of speaking to other people. We should always converse with our partners in a kind and respectful way. Constant criticism is a surefire way to slowly destroy your relationship.
3. Focus On Positives
Try not to dwell on the things that annoy you, instead focus on all the the great things your partner does. The couples who are most unhappy are stuck in a negative mindset, and pretty much everything they see is something that winds them up. If this happens to you, snap yourself out of it and try to see all the wonderful things your partner does instead.
4. Realise When They Need You
Look out for the little signs that your partner may need you – they may withdraw slightly, appear in their own world, or start behaving slightly out of character. Reach out to them when you notice this and make it clear that you are there for them if they need to talk to you about anything. Always make yourself available.
Good communication is the basis for a strong relationship. If a problem arises talk about it with one another in a calm way. Explain how the situation made you feel, using terms such as ‘I felt’ and ‘I heard’ rather than ‘You did that’ or ‘You said that’. Changing the way we phrase things can completely alter the reaction we get from someone, opening up the channels of communication without provoking feelings of defensiveness.
6. Stay In The Present
Do not dwell on the mistakes your partner has made in the past. Dragging up past misdemeanours during an argument will only lead to further resentment on both sides. We cannot change the past, so always live in the present for a better future.
7. Spend Time Together
Make sure you actually spend quality time together. This doesn’t mean silent time watching TV or staring at your computers. Turn all screens off and have a chat about your day, cook together, play a game of cards or go for a walk.
8. Split The Chores
It takes a lot of work to run a house so make sure you split the chores evenly. Resentment can build very quickly if one person always ends up doing the bulk of the work. Sit and and plan who does what in a fair way which takes into account the amount of time you are both working (this includes looking after children).
Don’t be strangers – touch each other! Hold hands, hug, stroke, sit close to each other and show your affection. Touching releases oxytocin which literally lowers your heart rate and stress levels. You will feel more connected emotionally if you make sure you regularly touch each other and this can also lead to a fantastic sex life.
10. Accept That No Relationship Is Perfect
Understand that absolutely no relationship is perfect and there will be times when things do go wrong. Don’t let resentment build up, deal with issues as they happen and then lay them to rest.